In Friday night, at the hall of pub where I work as a server, I saw an old man who wearing white shirt and a black pants with dim stripes. He, a dapper little man, had a briefcase by his side and a blue tie. He was bald. His face was pale enough to make him like a skeleton. While he talking, he tried to smile to his companions but I thought that muscles in his face are not familiar to make that kind of facial expression. And actually, he seemed like the stranger in his group. When he stopped talking, the mood of that table went to weird. Certainly he knew. So he kept drinking the glass of wine and I saw that his small eyes lost the place where they focus on.
He drank a lot. After he worked, he and his coworkers came to pub for celebrating the burning night. But he seemed like he doesn't like the situation. And because he looked so fatigue, I think he just participated in the group against his will. When the food they had ordered came out, I served it to that table. And I heard what people said. One of the group members kept talking about his sexual experiences crudely. He asked so rude questions to an old man that I saw. There was no facial expression on his face. I left the table with empty plate, and suddenly I heard shattering noise behind. That old man stood up with throwing the wine glass to the rude man. He was red in the face with anger.
HyeonJu Oh
It is an interesting story to read. I like the way you described the old man because I became curious about that man as I read it, just like you might had been about him. Also, I really want to know what happened next, and I think that tells how good you were in describing.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I could not help but notice some of your tiny mistakes, such as 'who wearing' instead of 'who was wearing' in the first line, or 'went to weird' instead of 'went weird'. With a bit of corrections, I think your writing can be even better.
Moses Choi
I enjoyed your story very much! It would be nice if you can add description about his coworkers, like how did they look like and what their expression was, to give a contrast between the old man and his coworkers.
ReplyDeleteI like how you ended your story with old man, since it leaves us wanting to know more. But at the same time, I want to know more! I think it would be nice if you could add more information abaout what happens later.
Hyun Jee Kim