4.2
I close my eyes, and immediately notice the overflowing smell of fresh coffee in the air. The tranquil music playing in the background adds onto the soothing mood of this place leaving me with a feeling of nostalgia. I know I have felt this kind of peace somewhere before. It is ten before noon and I am the only one here in my favorite cafe just outside my house. The lights dim, the room warm and cozy, the tranquil atmosphere of the place can put me to sleep at any moment. After rushing in from the chilly winds outside, my hands are cuffed around my warm Americano. It is still too hot to drink, but it feels amazing in between my hands. I can remember now why this moment feels so familiar. I have felt it many times in the past and it is the feeling of winter. The feeling of entering into a warm room after enduring the piercing chills and feeling like my whole body melt, winter has begun.
4.4
"Sweet Disposition," I will never be able to forget the moment when I heard this song for the first time. For the 6 hour trip, our guide had allowed each individual to play their favorite 3 songs on the Ipod, so that we could listen to a wide spectrum of music. We were headed to our second destination of the trip and this trip didn't start too well for me. The first place I visited, Paris, had left me feeling disappointed and wasn't what I had expected. I have nothing against Paris, but other than the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower, there wasn't much to experience in Paris other than the gloomy weather.
After just meeting the other members of the trip couple days before, being able to listen to their music taste allowed us to know a little bit more about each other. Right when I was felt that we were never going to reach our destination, the tour guide said "everyone look out the window, we have arrived at our next destination." This was the moment, when the song "Sweet Disposition" by the Temper Traps were playing on the Ipod. This peaceful melody and the calming voice of the singer added to the trance like effect the new destination was going to put me in. Pulling up the curtain rack, I saw mountains covered in white and so tall that our bus was like an ant finding its way in a child's playground. The mountains were steep, rocky, jagged, and it stretched down for miles. The mountains were grand and it reminded me how tiny I was in such a huge planet. Surrounding me with its majestic presence, I was in awe and remember tears forming in my eyes. We had arrived in the Swiss Alps.
This was so new to me. Everywhere around me was what you expected from a set in the Lord of the Rings. With huge mountains encircling our camp, I couldn't believe what I was waking up to for the next couple days. As soon as I came out of my room, numerous waterfalls were falling on the shelf of the peaks, sheep and cows were grazing on the hills, and the houses were very neat and had triangular roofs. Also, the smell of the place is exactly what nature has to smell like. With the background noise of the city hundreds of miles away, the only noise I was able to hear were the birds chirping, the sound of the animals, and the fall of the water over the mountains. From my whole Europe trip, Switzerland is the most memorable and the magnificent scale of the place is unlike anything I have ever seen.
4.2
ReplyDeleteI really did agree that what you were describing was the feeling of winter. The language and sentence structure you used in your writing were very good, and I especially liked the word, "cuffed." Something about it felt cozy like warm cocoa on a cold winter day. My favorite sentence in your writing was, "The lights dim, the room warm and cozy, the tranquil atmosphere of the place can put me to sleep at any moment." It seemed to be a perfect description of winter. It seems that you focused much on the atmosphere. My suggestion is that you should add something more about the sound. Maybe the sound of someone making coffee? Or even silence? Something like that.
4.4
In the second paragraph, you mention something about getting to know each other better. Then you go on to say that you thought you'd never arrive. I thought the flow here wasn't very smooth because I actually thought you were going to talk about what kind of things you learned about each other and how time went faster.
What I liked about your second piece of writing was your description of the Swiss Alps in the last paragraph. Your first sentence was enough for me to imagine what it was like. But I suggest you talk more about "what nature has to smell like." What does nature smell like? Does it have a refreshing smell? Does it smell like grass?
-Alyssa Yoo-