The computer room in Inmoon-kwan of Hankuk University of Foreign Studies is usually half-full of people. In this time of the day early in the morning however, there are only two people visible. A large student who likely is working out with a black and white striped shirt catches my attention. He has a book underneath the keyboard like he has something to do for homework while sharply glancing at the screen. He seems to be making progress because his computer screen is full of words which usually are a good sign. But it is not always so easy to concentrate forever, as shown by his time-to-time phone checking and playing games with it.
A passage-way and two seats away from him is a student with a pink sweater with a hood. I wonder what class she is taking because she was using Microsoft Access – a program I have never used since studying for computer specialist certificate. Probably a statistics class that uses databases. Unlike the former student, she was more relaxed with her work. Her movements in the screen were quite slow and were often checking other websites. She also had earphones plugged in to her ears. Her constant movements indicate that she is listen to an exciting music.
I liked that you guessed what he and she was doing based on your observations. However, I thought it would be better if you focused on one person. Also, as the tenses kept shifting, it was a bit confusing.
ReplyDeleteYukyung Bang
I liked the present tense in your first paragraph. It seemed more real and vivid. However, in the second paragraph past tense verbs made me confused.
ReplyDeleteI think if you are trying to describe both of them, it would be better to describe based on their similarity or difference. In this case, I think, emphasizing the differences between the boy concentrating on his work and the girl enjoying her time while working would be great.
201203589 Choi, Won-joon