Life is full of events. Some are enjoyable while others may be frustrating. Some are mixtures of both. The interesting part is, even frustrating experiences can turn out to be enjoyable in certain circumstances.
I often saw people using cellphones with broken screens for a long time and thought "Wow, that must be very uncomfortable, it's great that my cellphone is still intact." It never crossed my mind that the same could happen to me one day.
A day before the tragic event, I was very excited because it was the day of my trip to Incheon with three of my friends. We gathered at Hwegi station and headed to our destination. Time was valuable since it is only a two day trip, and we filled our stomachs with kimbab and sandwiches along the way. After having lots of fun at the travels, we went to a Jjim-jil-bang to get some sleep. As with most Jjim-jil-bangs, it had a hard, marble floor and looked shiny and fancy.
Despite the boiling weather outside that was identical to the sauna next door, they did not turn on the air conditioning. Only three fans were available and the spot was already taken by several lucky people. I had no choice but to sleep somewhere else, which I failed because I woke up many times. After two or so hours of the repetition of waking and sleeping, a spot was finally available near the fan! Excited, I took my pillow and almost ran to the spot, without realizing that my cellphone was half-out of my pocket. My mind was definitely someplace else until I heard a shattering noise, "Wajangchang." The cellphone's screen was into pieces and unlike the usable phones I saw that belonged to other people; my touchscreen did not work at all.
The first involuntary no-cellphone day was indeed uncomfortable. I could not receive nor make any calls and kakaotalks. It was, however, the second travel day so I managed it with lots of fun. The next day was Monday so I went to the repair shop right away after school. They charged me 70,000 won for changing the screen and unexpectedly asked me, "Which color do you want?" I was about to say "white," which was the original color but changed my mind to gold because I thought it would be interesting. Now, I have a phone which I am quite satisfied with, having a gold front and white back.
Looking back, I think breaking my cellphone could have been a rough experience for me. Like magic, what may have been an unpleasant experience turned into a good and memorable one. It is all how I make it to be.
I read your first draft(the one you posted last week) and I see a lot of things changed! I see that you put a general idea in the first draft to grab readers' attention and I think it works well. Also, how the tense changes from the present tense to the past tense is natural and helps me to understand your story. I think it would be more interesting if you include a specific example of someone who used a cellphone with a broken screen. Thank you for the nice story!
ReplyDeleteYukyung Bang
In last class, I laughed thanks to the expression 'wajangchang' and now I notice that it is yours. First of all, I really enjoyed reading your writing which is full of humor. You are so funny. But I cannot see the title. Maybe you didn't decide it yet. And actually In 3rd paragraph, you didn't change your expression 'Jim-jil-bang' into 'Korea sauna'. I think that the korean expression like kimbap or Jim-jil-bang can disturb readers. Sometimes I guess that using our own words in foreign languages can be helpful to notify our culture, but in short sight, readers of your writing can be confused by them.If i have a chance, I want to see your cellphone. Thanks for the cheerful story!
ReplyDeleteHyeonju Oh
A Two-Colored Phone
ReplyDeleteLife is full of events. Some are enjoyable while others may be frustrating. Some are mixtures of both. The interesting part is, even frustrating experiences can turn out to be enjoyable in certain circumstances.
I often saw people using cellphones with broken screens for a long time and thought "Wow, that must be very uncomfortable, it's great that my cellphone is still intact." It never crossed my mind that the same could happen to me one day.
A day before the tragic event, I was very excited because it was the day of my trip to Incheon with three of my friends. We gathered at Hwegi station and headed to our destination. Time was valuable since it is only a two day trip, and we filled our stomachs with kimbap and sandwiches along the way. After having lots of fun at the travels, we went to a Korean sauna called a "Jjim-jil-bang" to get some sleep. As with most Jjim-jil-bangs, it had a hard, marble floor and looked shiny and fancy.
Despite the boiling weather outside that was identical to the sauna next door, they did not turn on the air conditioning in the sleeping area. Only three fans were available and the spot was already taken by several lucky people. I had no choice but to sleep somewhere else, which I failed because I woke up many times. After two or so hours of the repetition of waking and sleeping, a spot was finally available near the fan! Excited, I took my pillow and almost ran to the spot, without realizing that my cellphone was half-out of my pocket. My mind was definitely someplace else until I heard a shattering noise, "Wajangchang." The cellphone's screen was into pieces and unlike the usable phones I saw that belonged to other people, my touchscreen did not work at all.
The first involuntary no-cellphone day was indeed uncomfortable. I could not receive nor make any calls and kakaotalks. It was, however, the second travel day so I managed it with lots of fun. The next day was Monday so I went to the repair shop right away after school. They charged me 70,000 won for changing the screen and unexpectedly asked me, "Which color do you want?" I was about to say "white," which was the original color but changed my mind to gold because I thought it would be interesting. Now, I have a phone which I am quite satisfied with, having a gold front and white back.
Looking back, I think breaking my cellphone could have been a rough experience for me. Like magic, what may have been an unpleasant experience turned into a good and memorable one. It is all how I make it to be.
Do Hyun Lim