My friend and I met at the café for the interview. I hadn't seen Will at school for a year, and he told me that he worked as a salesperson in a department store selling electronics. Considering that it is rare for a university student to have had a full-time job, I decided to interview him on his experience at that period.
"It was not always easy," he started. "There were many stressful situations dealing with customers, especially those who try to refund without a valid reason." His cringed expression showed how annoying these situations were. Being an employee and a seller for the first time, which is considered as a "lower" position in the interactions with the boss and customers may have been challenging for him. He further told me that it was a chance to be in another person's position. "All the time I was a customer, and I suddenly became the person who sells. It helped me gain perspective of a different position," he added. Moreover, it made him feel not want to graduate. "I worked eight hours a day, with one hour of lunch." Having no time to study, meet friends or time alone made him feel tired.
There were some difficulties, but he said his working environment was satisfactory, and that he enjoyed his work. When I asked, "Is there any particular reason you chose electronics salesperson as your job?" he answered, "I was always interested in electronics, especially headphones. The shop near my house just seemed like the perfect place." With the money he earned, he was able to do things he could not as a student, such as buying the latest headphone set with an amp and a laptop named Surface Book Pro. He had his laptop with him, and it seemed amazing because it was a thin wide-screen tablet while having a function of a laptop.
We then moved on to more serious subjects. The gap between university graduates and high school graduates in Korean society is well known, but it was surely different hearing from a person who has experienced it first-hand. "Salesmen are considered as a high school-graduate job. The way they are treated by surrounding people within the workers and the society itself greatly differs." Honestly, I was not very surprised as I heard many stories similar to this, but it was new in that it came from a friend who was the same age as me. Many people were surprised that he came from a university in Seoul because they do not have professions in these fields. He further added that the wide gap between white and blue collar workers, are one of the main reasons why many people call Korea nowadays "Hell-Chosun." The interview ended with me hoping the day where people get equal treatment, at least interaction and communication-wise, will come.
1. This piece of writing grabbed my interest because the writer chose a topic interesting for many college students. Many students are worried about their future and have heard about "Hell Chosun." The writer's friend's responses were very realistic. Also, what I liked about this essay was that it was very short and compact even though it had a topic. I could find the thesis statement at the end of the essay which meant that this was a good essay.
ReplyDelete2. In the fourth sentence of the second paragraph, I think the writer can be clearer about what being in a "lower" position means. Also, in the last paragraph, I think the writer needs to explain more about the gap between the university graduates and high school graduates in Korea since not all readers may be Koreans. The writer says it is "well-known," but he doesn't explain it, so I think a little explaining should be done here.
3. I think the most important idea was that people should be equally treated in Korean society where "Hell Chosun" exists.
T.S.: "The interview ended with me hoping the day where people get equal treatment, at least interaction and communication-wise, will come."
4. "Salesmen are considered as a high school-graduate job. The way they are treated by surrounding people within the workers and the society itself greatly differs."
I thought this quote was very effective because it is the quote that displays the reality of Korea where people with low-paid jobs are not equally treated as those with high-paid jobs. It's the quote that's the most important out of all the direct quotes in this essay, in my opinion.
5. In my opinion, I thought the writer needed more quotes in his essay. There were a few interesting quotes in his essay, but to grab the attention of many more readers, I thought it necessary for him to add more direct quotes that pop out. To be honest, I thought some of the direct quotes were too general. The writer cannot change what his friend said, but I believe he could have used more interesting quotes.
6. When the writer does some revision, I think he can make it better by adding a little more detail and adding some more explanation to things that seem unclear. Also, I think it'd be better if he leaves out words like, "well-known" because nothing is well-known to everyone. He can definitely make this essay more interesting if he fills in the gaps.
-Alyssa Yoo-
1.
ReplyDeleteI like this writing not only because I felt his interest while he was interviewing but because his own thesis or opinions were included on the last paragraph. I think he drew a social problem really well from a simple and compact interview.
2.
Using the word "Hell-Chosun"
If I were a English reader, I could kind of feel what the word is because of the word "hell" or the context of his writing. But it would be better if the writer adds more simple explanation about the word.
3.
the wide gap between white and blue collar workers, are one of the main reasons why many people call Korea nowadays "Hell-Chosun."
This sentence was sent me the powerful feelings as a thesis statement.
4.
"It was not always easy,"
Starting the second paragraph with the quotation mark made me feel like into the story. Additionally, the writer omitted the his question to the interviewee, which worked well and didn't cause any misunderstanding for me as a reader. It was interesting and maybe I can use it as a reference when I revise my draft.
5.
In my opinion, he adjusted the frequency of the quotations and explanations quite well. Quotations came out from time to time and made me feel liveliness of the interview and explanations told me more about the information.
6.
So far, it was nice in that he wrote his draft really compact. But I think if I were to interview in the same subject, I could ask more questions about him and include it in the writing. For example, I became curious why the interviewee chose that way of life instead of attending to his university like others.
201203589 Choi, Won-joon